The Complete Contents of My Day...

1. Slept. like a whole lot....
2. Ate toast....again a whole lot.
3. Went to work (and pretended to be either British or Hispanic whenever customers wanted help). I hate my job: especially when my best friend is my manager. We got in a huge fight last night though, and luckily he called in sick so he wouldnt have to actually deal with me.
4. Went food shopping (at work)and bought only mashed potatoes and orange juice.
5. had mashed potatoes for dinner.
6. Watched a movie: 13 going on 30....its aweful
7. Drank orange juice...yummm
8. Watched What I Like About You...and the real world during commercials.
9. Went on the computer (facebook, email, cyber stalking)
10. made a list

This is the complete contents of my day...judge away.

Just pointing out for your veiwing pleasure...yes all I ate today was toast potatoes and juice (i know, not healthy), yes i had little human contact (and when I did I was pretending to be other people), yes I avoided dealing with my conflicts, yes I HAVE NO LIFE...

As I said before...judge away...i dont care

Haikus...not very good ones though

1. Broken mirrors tell
Of times not quite so peaceful—
Shards sharp as her words

2. Lonely wolf cries out
Softly towards the yellow moon—
Gone are his brothers

3. Numbers quickly blink
Each minute that passes by
What time is my time?

4. Shadows and nightmares
Dwellers of the darkest world—
Why do they come out?

5. A shelter from cold
Put me in this awkward place
With his lips on mine

Things I've wanted to say...but love my charlemagne too much to do so

1. You suck...like actually your friendship was probably the biggest waste of my time. I feel like Im addicted to the drama you cause but I need to be free. Stop calling and texting and hurting. Let me move on and have a life.
2. Suck it up...we all have issues. However most of the real world has learned to cope (unlike you). You've had it hard but so have we: stop comparing yourself to the perfect idea of life and move on.
3. Every conversation I have with you kills me a little bit inside. I loved you so much and you used every bit of that love to your own gain. I want it back, but I know what you took is gone forever.
4. You were the content of roughly 100 poems I wrote...not a single one reflects you in a good light. Looking back, I can see how miserable you made me.
5. As much as I complain about you here, on my blog, I still call you when Im upset. You have become a crutch I cant walk very far without.
6. I still love you.
7. When you say you love me too I can hear that your lying. You seem to forget that ive lied too...I know what it sounds like.
8. I still hate you.
9. When you say you never hated me I can hear you lying. I know how much trouble Ive caused you (probably just as much as you caused me).
10. As much as I want you out of my life, I'm truly afraid of losing you.

Who I Am... (far too many)

1. I am the writer of far too many lists.
2. I am a daughter of far too many parents.
3. I am the mother of far too many lost little girls.
4. I am the keeper of far too many secrets.
5. I am the object of far too much pity.
6. I am the lover of far too many tales.
7. I am the giver of far too much forgiveness.
8. I am a collector of far too many things: joy, pain, love, common colds.
9. I am the memory of far too many gone.
10. I am the dreamer of far too many sweet dreams.

Things I Wish I Was Doing...

1. Hanging out with my bestfriends: They live to far away for me to see them more than 3ish times a year.
2. Swimming: I hate the snow and love to swim. It makes me feel so free.
3. Talking to him about what happened instead of ignoring it and silently judging ourselves and each other.
4. Sleeping. I slept till 1 this morning: my sister winked at me and said I was making up for lost time, but really i feel sick whenever Im awake so sleep is like heaven.
5. Feeling good: Im tired of always feeling so sick and never having a Dr figure out whats wrong.
6. Going back away...I learn so much when Im not in school: being here feels like a waste of time. I like to learn but schools really not the place for people like me....
7. Making a difference. Lately I feel like my whole life is such a waste. I want to give something back.
8. Doing my homework. I have midyears tomorrow and tons of homework due Friday and I had a whole day off and didnt study or do any of it.
9. Eating mung. I havent been to camp in over a year and I dreamt about mung last night. Now I really want it.
10. Cleaning/Cooking. I havent had time to be domestic lately and its really bothering me...I want to be a good daughter.

How to Keep Me Around

1. Make me laugh.
2. Put up with all my weird stuff and be able to not judge me.
3. Make me feel wanted.
4. Keep me warm.
5. Eliminate your need for personal space, Im a space invader.
6. Cuddle.
7. Understand what I want.
8. Be a good listener.
9. Dont listen when I say stupid things.
10. Be a mensch.

Reasons to Hide

1. Im not sure who I am: being nobody is easier.
2. I refuse to get hurt again.
3. They broke my heart: Didn't want me, had me anyway, then threw me away.
4. The world is a scary place.
5. I cant figure out why I'm here/what everyone wants from me.
6. I'm embarrassed of myself.
7. A mask is easier to wear than the truth.
8. People don't like the real me; It scares them away.
9. I don't like the real me; It scares me away.
10. I don't really want to be found.